Scheduled disappointment
Two times, chosen by you. So we can schedule despair with surgical precision — morning spoiler, evening summary.
Motivation is a scam. We send the receipt.
Push notifications for people who already know. Pick the hours we get to ruin, hand over your calendar if you’re brave, and we’ll handle the rest with surgical indifference.
Three permissions. Each one exists so we can be timely about it. You grant them; we do the rest with unsettling punctuality.
Two times, chosen by you. So we can schedule despair with surgical precision — morning spoiler, evening summary.
Import additional reasons to dread your afternoon. Before, during and after selected meetings. We sample — even we get bored.
We’ll notice workout starts and ends, then acknowledge them underwhelmingly. Steps stay unjudged — for now.
Written by humans. Sent without mercy.
One serif letdown a day on the home screen. A dose slider from sparse to unbounded. Settings that read like a contract you shouldn’t have signed. And a golden trophy badge if you drag a friend in with you.
One email when it ships. Possibly two, if we’re feeling annoying. No newsletter, no funnel, no growth hacks — we can’t be bothered.